Featured Story

February 19, 2009

Hannah’s addiction problems started when she was a senior in high school, 6 years ago. Depending upon which drug she was using at the time, behavior was unpredictable, volatile, and erratic. Her social circle consisted of fellow abusers and dealers. She steadily became less social, angry, and depressed. She was unable to hold a job for more than a few months. After a while she started stealing from me to support her addiction. I hid anything that was of value and installed a deadbolt lock on my bedroom door. When my money was inaccessible, she started asking relatives for money and eventually started stealing from them.
Although Hannah has abused various drugs over the years, her latest was prescription pain killers and marijuana. She started smoking pot when she was in high school. She then became addicted to cocaine. In order to quit cocaine, she switched to ecstacy, then to ketamine, and various other drugs. One drug always replaced another.
She was hospitalized in 2005 for a sever kidney infection and left the hospital with pain medications. She soon made them her drug of choice. Over the years, she would go from doctor to doctor, steadily increasing the quantity of her pills. As each doctor dropped her for her abusive habits, she soon found another to replace him/her. She was diagnosed with a bladder disease, Interstitial Cystitis, which is known to be a painful condition. This further enabled her to acquire more and more pain medications. Before long, she was taking what was suppose to last one month in 10 days. When she ran out, she resorted to buying pills illegally. If she couldn’t get what she normally took, she would buy and take whatever was available. As her biggest co-dependent, I would give her money and lend her my car to buy the drugs. I felt sorry for her because of her medical condition and she played on my sympathy.
As her addiction progressed, so did her depression. She was sent or taken to the hospital a few times with suicidal threats. She was given more and more pain killers, prescription after prescription for depression, and diagnosed with several different psychological problems for which there was always a new prescription.
Hannah and I both knew that she needed help. Unfortunately, them mental health system in the State of Arizona is almost non-existent unless you are independently wealthy or you are arrested and treatment is court ordered. I did not have $30,000 to $50,000 that was needed for a self pay patient and we were becoming more and more frustrated working with the state funded mental health system. We got nowhere and were given excuse after excuse as to why nothing was being done.
As Hannah’s addiction became worse in the last year, so did her depression and talk about suicide. I had been researching drug rehab centers in surrounding states hoping that something was available and affordable. One day I received an email and I am not sure where it came from. The email provided information about rehabilitation centers around the country and for the first time I read that not all rehab centers are right for everybody. The email contained a questionnaire that when answered would better help this clearing house match an individual with an appropriate center. Since Hannah had a painful, chronic disease, I knew that rehab alone would not help. She would complete a program and leave still in pain and we were both sure that the addiction would start all over again.
Without much hope, I went ahead and submitted information on a Thursday afternoon about Hannah and really didn’t expect much to happen. I was surprised to receive a phone call the next day at 7am regarding my email. I missed the call and before I had a chance to call back, I received another phone call at 11:00am that morning. The person who had received the email asked me some more questions about Hannah and I explained her problem and why a normal rehab center would not work for her. She basically needed a medical rehab center that would work with her disease. Later that night, I received another phone call from the person I spoke with and he explained to me that they were sort of a clearing house for rehab centers around the country that are all linked. He had a facility in mind that just might work for Hannah. He asked is he could forward my name and number to tell them so they could contact me. I agreed. The next day I received a phone call from one of the center administrators who wanted more information about Hannah’s medical condition and drug use. Although I was sure this would lead nowhere, I provided her information. I was just waiting for the bomb to drop regarding the price of the program. If we went outside of the state mental health system, her care would be totally self pay. I basically live paycheck to paycheck and didn’t have much savings.
The next day I received a phone call from Murray Dailey at A Forever Recovery in Battle Creek, Michigan. He had taken time to speak to a physician regarding Hannah’s disease and whether or not it was treatable. He told me about the program and how they would not only work with her addiction but with her disease to get her to a point that she would not need pain medication anymore. I was astounded to hear the cost and that it remained the same whether Hannah stayed 28 days or 90 days. I was doubtful but was willing to grasp any straw that was extended to me. I knew we were running out of time and it was a matter of time before Hannah “accidentally” overdosed. Murray took my personal information in order to seek financing. I was afraid to get my hopes up and didn’t even mention any of this to Hannah. Murray called me on Saturday and told me I was approved for financing to pay Hannah’s treatment. I didn’t think about how long it would take me to pay off his debt. I only thought that finally, Hannah had a chance a recovery and a normal life. I told Murray that I would make airline reservations and call him back to let him know when we were coming.
At this point, I told Hannah what the plan was and I was not surprised at all when she readily agreed. She had been asking for help and was more frustrated than I that nothing was working out. We flew to Michigan on Wednesday and spent the night. I checked her in on Thursday morning and caught a plane back home on Thursday afternoon.
I knew that Hannah had stocked up on drugs for the trip. I even drove her to one place to buy what was available there. Murray had told me to make sure she had what she needed to get there because if she started to withdraw before she got there she would change her mind. Leaving her at the facility was the hardest thing I have ever had to do as a mother. I was leaving my daughter under the control of complete strangers and had totally given up both of our control over her life. But I trusted in God that he had made this opportunity available and he would take care of her. As I left for the airport, she left in another direction to her first doctor’s appointment.
Hannah was not allowed to call out when she was in the withdraw unit. I knew this and Murray said I could call him for updates. I was very upset to receive a phone call the very next day that Hannah was refusing methadone and claimed to be ill and had to go to an emergency room. Since she did have a legitimate disease, I was told that the center had an obligation to take her to make sure she was okay, but in all likelihood this was her last attempt at getting more pain meds. I was embarrassed to hear that she caused a scene in the emergency room because she could not get any drugs. The ER had been warned ahead of time that she was coming from a rehab center.
I was again quite surprised to receive a phone call from her 3 days later while still in withdraw. She had snuck to a phone and placed the phone call I had been dreading. She pleaded for me to get her out of there, they were being mean to her and she promised to complete an outpatient program with methadone if I would just bring her home. She complained of severe pain from not having any pain meds. I told her I bought her a one way ticket and she would not get the return flight until the center told me that she had completed the program. I told her to give it a least one month and give the medical treatments they were arranging with a private doctor a chance to work towards relieving her pain.
Again, I received a phone call a day or two later from the center saying that she was threatening to leave and that if she chose to they could not stop her. They could take her to a homeless center and hoped she would return. At this point, I was afraid the center would decide that she was just too much trouble and send her home. I prayed that they would have patience with her and stand up to her stubbornness, something that I could never do.
Finally after 10 days, she left the withdraw unit. I suspect that she set the record for the longest stay in the withdraw unit. She claims not to have. I started receiving phone calls from her daily, and little by little I noticed a change in her voice and attitude. By this time she had been receiving treatment twice a week from her doctor and she was just starting to notice a tiny improvement in her pain, so she claimed. When her 30 days approached, the center and she both agreed that she was not ready to come home. She was getting good results from the physician treatments and was finding much needed help in the counseling that was required daily. Then, one month turned into two and it was Christmas. I was sure that she would want to be home for Christmas, but she chose to stay there. I shipped her Christmas presents and although I was missing her here, I knew she was in a better place. She finally admitted that she really didn’t have much pain anymore and she was hopeful for a normal life that she never envisioned. After three months she completed the program.
Is this the end of my story? No, nothing is simple with Hannah. She asked the center if she could stay and work there. I was astounded. Was this the same child who never left home, and was completely dependant upon me? The center agreed to have her stay as an employee. She came home for one week to visit but was ready to return within a few days. She was anxious to get back and start working. It was wonderful spending time with her being sober. We were finally able to have a normal mother-daughter relationship and I enjoyed the week she spent here. But I also knew that it was better for her to go back and have more time to work on her recovery. She had made friends there and for the first time in her life, socialized with her peers without being high. She is enjoying life and especially looking forward to the challenges of her new job.
As I said earlier, I do not know where that email came from, but it was heaven sent. In a matter of 4 days, from my first email to the final approval for financing, Hannah was on her way. She is no longer the child I expected to bury young, but is now a beautiful, happy, confident, and sober woman. I thank A Forever Recovery and their entire staff for the patience, support, and understanding they have provided to Hannah. Her medical treatments were above and beyond what is normally done and have made all the difference in Hannah’s recovery. They have treated both of us like they sincerely had her best interest in mind and in my opinion went way beyond what other rehab facilities would provide. I thank them and God for giving me my daughter back.
Jo Ann